Stress Management Tips for Moms in Everyday Situations

August 6, 2025

By: Melanie Koenig October 3, 2024

I had the opportunity to speak with Liv Nelson, MS, LPC from Reedsburg Area Medical Center, about the importance of stress management for moms and how we can reduce our stress, particularly when faced with everyday challenges.

To make the conversation even more relevant, I asked the Sauk County Mom Community to share their own unique challenges and questions on this topic.

Liv’s insights were both practical and compassionate, offering helpful tips for managing stress. I’m excited to share them with you, hoping they provide some relief and guidance for those navigating similar stressful situations.

Healing Inner Child Wounds

Question 1:
How can I work through inner child wounds that get triggered by my kids? What tools can I use to slow down before reacting when these moments arise?

Liv explained that inner child work is currently a hot topic. For those unfamiliar, the “inner child” refers to our younger self and the feelings or experiences we had growing up. Many of the emotional responses we have now as parents can be traced back to unresolved issues from that time.

For example, if we received certain messages as children—whether about emotions, food, or other behaviors—we may find ourselves reacting from that same place as adults, particularly when we’re parenting. Our stress response in these moments often mirrors those early experiences. One of the hardest aspects of parenting, Liv pointed out, is learning to tolerate our own distress when our children are distressed.

A simple stress management tip to help slow down in those moments is to model healthy coping mechanisms for your child. Liv suggested saying, “Mommy needs to take a second,” and then actually follow through by taking deep breaths. For many younger moms, this kind of emotional modeling may not have been something they saw growing up. In the past, it wasn’t uncommon for parents to fight behind closed doors or present a “perfect” life. While we’re not suggesting you fight in front of your kids, it’s important to show them how you manage disagreements and stress in a healthy way. This can give your children a realistic understanding that not everything is perfect all the time.

Liv also emphasized the importance of developing insight into your triggers to help manage your stress levels. Being aware of what sets you off, how you react, and what that reaction might be trying to tell you is key. Ask yourself:

What am I reacting to?
What am I needing in this moment?
Am I touched out?
Do I need to pause and mentally say something to myself first?
Do I need to slow down?

Insight is incredibly powerful because only we can truly know what we need in those moments. By understanding what we’re reacting to, we can start to separate the emotional trigger from the actual situation with our child to be a more effective mom.

Sometimes, just sitting with the feeling and then letting it go can be enough to move forward. However, if the trigger feels like a deeper or ongoing issue, it might be beneficial to explore it further in therapy. This way, you can work through those unresolved emotions, rather than continually being triggered by your child’s behavior.

Staying Present

Question 2:
What are some tools to help me stay more present with my children? How can I prevent feeling overwhelmed so easily?

Liv suggested that one of the most effective ways to be more present with your children is to put your phone down as much as possible. Engaging in a new activity with your kids is another great way because it naturally requires your full attention. New experiences activate your senses—you’re seeing, smelling, and feeling new things, which keeps you engaged and in the moment.

Another tip is to teach your children something new, whether it’s an activity or a skill, as this naturally brings you both into the present moment. Liv mentioned that being outside can be especially grounding, so she encouraged moms to take their children outdoors whenever possible.

If distractions like household chores are keeping you from being fully present, consider leaving the house to break that cycle. Ask yourself: What is keeping me from being present? Identifying the cause can help you make small changes that lead to greater focus.

When it comes to avoiding feeling overwhelmed, grounding techniques are powerful. Many moms feel they need to “power through” everything, which often leads to overstimulation and stress. In those moments, Liv advised stepping away for a second if it’s appropriate. Deep breathing, a short walk, progressive muscle relaxation, and practicing gratitude in the moment can help you regain control. One grounding technique she suggested is progressive muscle relaxation—squeezing a body part really tight for 10 seconds (like your fists or your face) and then releasing the tension.

If you find that you’re consistently feeling overwhelmed during certain times of day, like dinner time, consider adjusting your routine or asking a family member for help around that specific time.

Managing Stress When Dealing with Behavior Challenges

Question 3:
What are some stress management tips for handling behavior issues like biting? I tend to react with anger when I experience sudden pain, and I find it really hard to “not react” as recommended.

Liv first recommended the book Good Inside by Becky Kennedy as an excellent resource for parenting through challenging behaviors like biting. She likes how the book is formatted—with clear, to-the-point bullet points and step-by-step guidance without a lot of unnecessary fluff. The book focuses on cognitive changing tools, which help you shift your mindset to see your child as “good inside,” even during difficult moments.

She acknowledged that it can be extremely hard to avoid reacting in the moment, especially when you’re in pain. Liv stressed the importance of stopping that reaction as soon as you realize it’s happening. Modeling a calmer response to your child can be a huge help in the long run. She also recommended having your spouse step in, if possible, removing the child from the situation to give you a moment to collect yourself.

She also mentioned there are therapists who specializes in parent-child relationships and suggested Kate Fitzpatrick at Reedsburg Area Medical Center if that was something you may be interested in. In situations like this, having a professional to guide and help you set healthy boundaries can make a big difference, especially if the behavior continues in cycles.

Finding the Right Therapist

Question 4:
How can I find a therapist that’s a good fit? What questions should I ask to understand their style and skillset before starting? And if it’s not a good match, how do I end the relationship and ask for referrals?

Liv suggested starting by asking for recommendations from your primary care provider or a healthcare professional you trust, such as your OBGYN. They often have personal relationships with therapists and can provide valuable insights into their style and approach. If you have close friends or family who see a therapist, their recommendations can also be helpful.

Liv recommended that when speaking with your new therapist, it’s perfectly okay to express any anxiety you may have about starting therapy. You could ask something like, “I’m feeling nervous about this… could we check in after a session or two to see how it’s going?” This kind of open communication is an easy way to set expectations and ensure that both you and your therapist are on the same page about whether it’s a good fit.

If, after a few sessions, you feel that the therapist isn’t the right fit, Liv reassured me that it’s completely okay to express this. Saying something like, “I feel I need something different, or I have a different goal,” is an appropriate way to exit the relationship without discomfort. She emphasized that no therapist should ever be offended if a client feels they need to make a change, and most therapists are happy to provide referrals to others who might be a better fit.

Many therapists now have introductory videos or bio cards, such as those found on Reedsburg Area Medical Center’s website, which can help you get a sense of their personality and therapy style before you even make an appointment.

To research therapists, you can also use websites like Psychology Today, which lists therapists along with their bios.

Embracing Emotional Awareness and Self-Care in Motherhood

At the end of our conversation, I asked Liv if she had any general feedback or thoughts to share. She emphasized the importance of insight—becoming really good at understanding what triggers you and why. What is the unmet need? Our emotions are trying to tell us something.

Being open to accepting help when it’s offered (for your own emotional well-being) is another one. She pointed out that Western society places a lot of pressure on moms to do everything themselves, while other cultures tend to share the responsibility of raising children. Taking personal time, a date night, or time for self care are good things to do.

Liv also touched on the concept of emotional intelligence in motherhood. She talked about how parenting often creates emotional dissonance—feeling two conflicting emotions at the same time. For example, you might desperately want a break from your kids, but when you finally get that break, you miss them terribly. Our brains naturally struggle with these conflicting emotions, but learning to sit with that dissonance and tolerate the stress is key to your own health and emotional growth.

Finally, she recommended two great books:

Do Less by Kate Northrup, which talks about juggling the many responsibilities of life, and helps moms (or anyone, really) distinguish between the “glass balls” they can’t drop and the “rubber balls” that will bounce back if they do. There’s no reason to cause yourself excess stress by trying to do everything. This book helps identify what you can “set down” for now to lighten your physical/mental load.
Good Inside by Becky Kennedy, which is especially helpful for parents dealing with behavioral challenges. The core philosophy is that all children are inherently “good inside,” even when their behaviors are difficult or problematic. This perspective encourages parents to shift from punitive reactions to empathetic understanding, focusing on the emotional needs behind the behavior.

It was a real pleasure speaking with Liv. Our conversation left me feeling calm and centered, and I can easily see why so many moms trust her guidance. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share her insights with you all.

Motherhood can be stressful at all stages, but the fourth trimester—the first three months after delivery—can be especially challenging for new moms, or those adding another little one to their family. To help support you and your baby during this time, the RAMC Birth Center nurses invite you to join them for a special postpartum support group.

Held on the second Wednesday of each month, from 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 noon in the Birth Center Family Lounge, this group provides a welcoming environment where you can receive support, ask questions, and connect with other moms.

What to expect: